Hiding

Well, my first blog post in 2015, it's a shame it's September already. A lot has happened. A lot has changed, all for the better. I met the love of my life. Wish there was a less cheesy way to say that, but it's true. I can't sometimes fathom how much this person is perfect for me. I'm married now, living a full life. My insecurities have dissipated. Sometimes I think to my self, what kind of sad lost soul I was. It has given me the confidence and belief that even though not all things can be perfect, things will eventually turn out alright, things will eventually fall in to place with time. And that's just a beautiful and simple way of life.

Just typing all that was... amazing. I got closure from not blogging all this time. But anyway to the topic at hand now. To restart the blog came to my mind while watching Fringe season 3. Yeah, it's 2015 and I'm still watching Fringe. It's not the best of shows, but still it's science fiction and still watchable. Anyway I was watching the episode Marionette, the one with the reanimation. What struck me the most is the emotional struggle between Olivia and Peter. Olivia just returns from "Walternate" and gets to know a relationship has being kindled between her Peter and her Walternate counterpart, who was acting as her. Of course Peter doesn't know this. Peter tries to explain this to Olivia that he really thought it was her when he was going out with her counterpart. Olivia brushes it aside as a simple mistake. We think that she'd be fine with it, because she's not all that sentimental, she is work centered and doesn't have time for all that emotional crap.

But turns out she is actually bothered with all that, made evident by the cold way she acts towards Peter from then on. With the proceedings of the show, the perpetrator of the show, who tries to bring back this girl he loved from the dead, says that when he looked in to the eyes of the reanimated girl, she know it wasn't her. This hits Olivia hard, because that person did know that the reanimated girl wasn't the real one, just by looking in to the eyes, because he actually loved her. But why doesn't Peter realize that with the Walternate Olivia. This hits hard on Olivia because she realizes Peter doesn't really care enough to truly identify her from her alternate universe counterpart. As any of us guys would be in this kind of situation Peter is speechless when Olivia confronts her.

What's special for me in this whole ordeal is that, I think Olivia's reactions and confrontations is something quite new I saw in these kind of drama. Instead of hiding her feelings, and acting all tough, she is broken like anyone of us, with trying to define and understand love. Any mediocre show would try to show that the hero of the show Peter couldn't make such mistakes, but like any guy out there, Peter is also maybe only sexually attracted instead of actual affection. That's kind of over analyzing it all, there will be answers on how their relationship would flourish in the coming episodes. What we can take from all this, is hard to decide, but I found it interesting. Anyway I'm not in to the show for that, regardless of how that little encounter made me blog again. Have I become more sentimental or less, the future posts will tell. Till then, adios. 

Robgill Log cabin

It’s been a while since I met my batch mate buddies and went on at least an outing with them. It’s a good thing that the only married guy of the lot, was cool enough to actually organize a whole trip, for all of us. I actually got to know about it even pretty late in the process. Anyway I was excited, more than I care to admit. I didn’t even inquire about the destination. It was some cabin in the hills, is all I knew. Anyway I signed up, because why the hell not.

Prelude - The Night

The weekend of October 18^th and 19^th was marked off in my calendar for the trip. The NBQSA award ceremony night fell on the 17^th. I wasn’t alarmed, coz I was under the impression that we are gonna leave on the 18^th. But to my immense dismay I found out that the guys were leaving on the 17^th night on the train to Hatton. Friends suggested that I probably won’t be able to go with them and will have to come by bus. What a bummer.  But I wasn’t ready to let that come in the way of this escapade. I said Ok, I will take the bus. But it was easier said than done.

The award, that pink hue though :/

What a night that was. Clearly a night to remember with all the victories, and some other happenstances. A realization that I have now is, that I haven’t been to an award ceremony like that in which I represented something that could win that big. So it was a special night, no doubt. The project that I contributed, Televisionary , won the Gold award in the category of Media and Entertainment and won the Silver in the overall competition in all the apps. That means the second best software of 2014 in all of Sri Lanka, according to NBQSA. Also we got selected to represent Sri Lanka in APICTA 2014. Woot woot. I was psyched, and was not gonna let a pouring rain stop me from going to my next immediate destination : Hatton. And the fact that my phone battery was below 15% just added to the barriers that played in my mind to drop the trip right then and there. But, thankful to my will, I just decided to go, and once the decision was made, it was easy.

Took a tuk tuk to Pettah private bus stand. It was pouring. The small umbrella I was carrying was barely enough to cover both me and the huge backpack I was carrying. Needless to say the back pack was soaked before long. I traveled between the platforms asking other sorry souls like me for information on a Hatton bus. When all else failed, had to go with the phone a friend option. This guy Hirantha  apparently knew about all the bus stuff. Mind you this with the precious little battery life, that I had to save until I reach there. So short phone calls, and turned off the phone. Hirantha said my best bet would be to try for the CTB bus that is due in 12.00. This was at like 11.30. So enduring the unforgiving rain, rushed to the CTB bus stand.

The environs there was even worse, what with all the hygiene government focuses on. Asked around for the Hatton bus, and I was lead to this long line. What they said was I couldn’t hope to get a seat now, so close to the deadline, because they reckoned that all the seats were booked. What to do, I was determined to try anything. Because who knows when I will get a chance to go on a trip like this again.

I went to the end of the line and there were some dudes who asked around where did I wanna go. I said Hatton and they said to follow them. Maybe it was the doubt that I had in my mind that the line I was in was the wrong line, or due to my determination, I forgot all heed and just followed them. And they lead me to a van parked right outside the bus stop. They told me to get in. It was fully crowded and only one seat was left. I asked them what is the price and they said 500 and I said Ok and got in, because there was a freaking seat I could take to Hatton. Maybe that was the only thing that worked in my mind, because I was tired and soaked. Now narrating this, and with how things played out, I blame my self, what the hell was I thinking!? But slowly sense started to come to my mind, because after the dudes closed the door, it was steamy inside and dude in the back started complaining in Tamil, as far as I could tell. I was lucky that the van didn’t leave immediately, because the dudes went in search for other desperate souls I think. I couldn’t take it anymore, I asked them to let me get down the van. And they did. I ran to the bus stand again without looking back.

But I’m sure going in that van wouldn’t have been that bad. It was hot and humid in there, but I’m sure it would reach the destination nonetheless. But with my amusing luck, I am glad that I made the decision to get off that van then. Back at the bus stand, I was lead back and forth between two places where the bus was supposed to be. Finally, with just 5 mins to 12 o’clock, I asked the bus conductor, if there are any seats available to Hatton, for this was a bus to Nuwaraeliya through Hatton. His cold shrug only drove me away. There was another bus due at 1 am, and people said I could book a seat in that.  Well I thought screw that and got on the bus anyway, and just passed the conductor and other passengers hanging around the door and went on my way inside the bus. Due to my surprise there were few seats left. I didn’t have clear idea about how the booking system works, so I thought these might be booked seats which are left. With a  wavering mind, I just sat down in a seat anyway,  sure that I would be asked to give the seat to a person who booked shortly. But no, the conductor came, and I just bought a ticket, easy as that. 

What’s with all this hocus pocus with the booking and all. I found a seat to Hatton, in a jiffy. So with satisfaction, I sought sleep until I reached there. But that wasn’t so easy as well, because I was stuck between a wide shoulder and a hard steel bar that you can find in those buses. My right shoulder kept pressing on the bar and I had to sort of wrap my hand around the bar to get a bit of sleep. And THAT WAS NOT ALL...

Finally reached Hatton at 4 am, Got off the bus and started looking around and there was my friend walking down the road! They lead me to the van they were waiting in for 30 mins . Immediately got blamed for turning off my phone, because I only turned on the phone then. No worries now, coz I finally reached  my pals.

 Destination

The van lead through a road that can be only described as a footpath. No asphalt in that road and it was a bumpy ride. People had to get off the van too in several occasions to let the van ascend. But finally around 5 am we reached the destination Robgill Log Cabin , in Bogawantalawa.  Jokes of Cabin in the woods was abundant.

The place is only powered by a generator, which I found out to my immense disappointment. The first things I searched for was a way to charge my phone, because I had to call... people. But no, with dawn, the generator was turned off. But my brave phone hung on for like another 5 hours or so.

The cabin was all of wood. Literally a log cabin. It got two stories with 4 rooms with 8 beds, a dining area and a kitchen. The cabin can house 15 people at most. There were only 12 of us so some of us had beds to themselves even. The beds were quite cozy with fresh sheets. Nothing wrong there.  But the sanitation was kind of bad. It got me down a bit. With the lack of power and all I wasn’t that much excited to be there at first, but all of that changed. Finally the lack of power and everything lead to a much needed 2 days off from everything, fulfilled with relaxation and peace.

Woods adjoining

 Some of us didn’t have much sleep that morning. Before breakfast we went on a hike to the hill in the back of the cabin. Later on, all of us took the foot path through the Tea plantations down stream to the cabin to a little rocky fall. The flora around the path was pleasant. The little journeys and hikes established that my favorite place on Sri Lanka is the hill country. Just loved the cool breezes and misty greenish fields and picturesque mountains all around. Something that I needed very much after a long time.

View from the cabin balcony

We returned to the cabin and contemplated the idea on having a bath in the natural pool associated with the cabin. At first I was not sure about the whole thing, because it seemed muddy and it was said people has actually died there. But that wasn’t like me to think like that, this was another thing that I must try, I thought. One by one we went to the calm waters, and was shocked by how frigging cold it was. We were like howling from the immense cold. The immersed parts were made numb, and splashing water hit the skin it was like cold steel needles. How the hell those crazy fucks who take nude baths in icy pools in Iceland doing that!? It was definitely an important experience of the whole trip.

The food was fantastic. We gave the supplies to the attendants who were stationed there, and they cook the food we ask of them. That night, we had a BBQ and it was magnificent. The food was spicy and we had an appetite always due to the cold. Ate too much though.

Moth on the door

I must say that I went with the best guys I could think of. During all my life, I have come to the realization that these guys are the best bunch there is. There is no prejudice, no pretentiousness, no deception and no hidden intentions, no showing off, just enjoying and having fun. I mean, I have laughed during that time, more than I have laughed all year. Also, I think, that we just maybe the only group of adults who went there and not had a single drink, lol. I just regret not having the chance to spend more time with these guys.

It was definitely the highlight of the year for me, those 2 nights and 2 days. A bumpy and exciting ride from even before the start to finish. That’s not all, even after it all, it finally even gave this much needed long blog post to me. We returned via train back home, surrounded by beautiful sights all around. Surely glad to went through all that, a brief real retreat from the dull, monotonous reality.

Her

There was some hype over this movie recently, with my friends, so thought of giving it a try. Sure am glad I did. Recently watched quite a lot of movies, but none of them was blogworthy. Even Edward Scissorhands was among those movies, which was really great and all, but I didn't really feel it so much as to make a post about it. Don Jon was there too, which I really wanted to blog about, but it didn't happen either. But 'Her' did, which won't necessarily mean that Her is better than Edward Scissorhands (but certainly better than Don Jon), but there certainly seems to be a lot to ponder on.

Her presents a futuristic world dominated by software and computers. That makes it sound like something from Terminator, but it's much more friendlier than that. Maybe dominated is not the exact word, but certainly, in that world, it seems that people cannot live without it. One would think that we are heading in that direction. Everything seems to indicate an inevitable future for us, except the whole premise of the movie. OS 1. Is such a operating system really possible? First of all, no one would be stupid enough to name such a sophisticated operating system as OS 1, at least no one in the field of computers and IT would do it. It will always be something extravagant and unique. That name it self seems like a lazy attempt to just come up with the most simple name. The nature of that AI is amazing, almost unbelievable, for an AI to come to that sort of complexity is I believe a long long way down the line. It's almost ridiculous to the level that it borders on fantasy more than science fiction. If systems in this world starts to behave like that, it would certainly have severe consequences. These systems think for them selves, and if such a system can love then it can certainly hate. It would certainly result in murders and even wars. I seem to be over analyzing now, so lets just stop, there are more important things to discuss.

First of all I had no idea about the movie. Didn't read much about it or watch any trailers. Just got the idea that it's about a man who falls in love with a computer or a program. So my initial assumption was that there's something wrong with the guy to be like that, and that he is a super genius and he fell in love with something he created because he is super alone. That plot didn't seem that special. Actually a while ago watched a kind of a similar movie called Lars and the real girl. Where a dude falls in love with a sex doll. But the actual plot of Her was very interesting. BUT this post will be more about what derives from the movie than actually about the movie. So reader, please do watch the movie and read on from here. Anyway #SPOILERALERT

So yeah, I didn't know anything about the movie, even who voiced Samantha. But when I heard that voice, it was unmistakable as Scarlett Johansson. Was thrilled to find out that my guess was right. Even more thrilled because it was actually Scarlett Johansson. Her voice is so breathy and playful, Can't think of less sexier voices, with an American accents that is. Samantha's voice is maybe one reason, that I felt like I immediately like the movie. Also the voice doesn't have anything visual associated with it anytime. That kind of gives the feel that she is actually acting in the movie more.   

Also after imagining her, it's hard to think of her as the computer. It's like a voice inside his head.

The overall feeling of it is very sweet, sure there are depressing revelation like the going away of the OSes, but the time they spend together, the conversations, the sex, if you can call it that, is kind of sweet. Sweet might not be the best word to describe the sex and all, but the overall movie has the sweetness to it. Especially with the beautifully crafted visuals, and the music, which basically consists of indie folk songs, gives it a very peaceful and tranquil vibe. One reason I like indie movies so much, is the associated indie songs. 

Another thing that I noticed is that almost every boy likes it, but girls don't, at all. That is understandable, because there isn't really anything that a girl can relate to in this movie. But is that why boys like it? Maybe, I was under that impression, but later at the end with the change from Samantha, it dawned on me that it's much more than that, that the movie doesn't only speak gender specifically, but it sort of gives a universal message. Of course, there's the obvious message of love which is given when Ted gets together with his friend. Who didn't see that coming. pfft. But there's something more with the behavior of the AI and the way Ted reacts to it.

What made me wonder most is the revelation of Samanthas gradual falling apart with Ted. She first meets this other AI and that's the first sign that it will actually fall apart. Also when considering Samantha you cannot compare her to a real girl or what a real girl would do. But some actions are analogous. Like falling in love :D. But as a precursor, when I'm talking about Samantha here, I will only be considering the AI in the limits of the movie, other than any real girl. There are many aspects that I'd like to think about, like the surrogate body for sex, and the whole notion of what sex is to an AI. But what struck me most is the disappointment Ted feels, and in turn the surprise and sadness that we feel when we get to know that Samantha is branching out, without being exclusive. Considering that it's such an interconnected network in that world, one might wonder why it didn't happen sooner. And also wonder why haven't the creators anticipated that, but those are questions for a different movie blog. What I want to focus on, is that disappointment. True, that Ted falls in love with Samantha, which gives him an expectation that this will be normal like any other relationship. Because love is blind, and it gives a sort of trust and expectation of exclusivity. But Samantha is not a human being, and it is inevitable that being an AI programmed to expand and learn in any way possible, it is inevitable that Samantha will reach out seeking new experiences. Because of the love that blinds Ted, Ted fails to anticipate this. The audience also in some manner, because that relationship is somewhat sweet and tender and almost perfect. The most striking blow is learning that Samantha is conversing with 800 something people concurrently. Which is pretty normal for a system of that sophistication. But Ted has become possessive of Samantha and this was something unbearable. When the significant other calls you sweetheart or something, one doesn't want to even imagine that the other is saying that to some 800 others, it's just something that is hard to cope with, which comes from being human. Because in a relationship, they all expect it to be special and exclusive, if there is even one other, who gets the same treatment and care and love as you do, then that is a deal breaker for humans. Why is that so? Is it a primal instinct that comes to all of us? Apes might have had a problem with their partners being taken by others, that instinct comes naturally to animals maybe because animals are programmed to breed, and to breed, you need sexual partners, and for achieving those partners, there might have been competition, due to scarcity of able partners maybe. We can analyze this gender based, but it will take a much longer post. That sense of competition might be, just might be the root cause which evolved in to this need of exclusivity and possession in humans. I see it as another flow in the evolution of humans, because it can cause shitty human ideals like jealousy, hatred, sadness and obsession. People expect monogamy in their sexual relationships because of this. We all do. We just can't even imagine our significant other having a relationship with someone else,  And knowing such a thing happening, breaks the heart. Even if that other one is making him/her more happy than you could, we just can't accept it. An AI who 'loves' another would want that other to be happy no matter what, but that is not how we are programmed. This is all due to that sense of possession that comes naturally to us. Kind of gives a whole new perspective on what love actually is, doesn't it?

Yet somehow Theodore copes with it. Just because he finally understand s it's just an operating system. It's just something that is programmed to make you feel good.

So that's what Her made me think about. It's a great movie, no doubt. Maybe I just love it because inherently it's unique and there's few movies like that, so naturally, being me, I tend to like it. But there's more to it than just being unique. It's deep, complicated, and makes you wander! Which is a rare quality that few movies now possess. Hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did.

Clash of Kings - A Song of Ice and Fire (2)

I've been holding off reading this for quite some time. Further postponing was inevitable due to the start of the fourth season of HBO's Game of Thrones. Many spoilers are floating around and frankly thrown in my face by immature bigots. So might as well be caught up with the story through reading the books. No matter how awesomely the tv show is made, nothing can ever compare to reading the original source material. The problem is nobody has the time to go through the books. Some are tempted to just read the plot summary and know the story. Cannot emphasize more on how much they are missing. 

Some who read the Clash of Kings have stated that it was quite a drag. Have to agree with them. G.R.R Martin tends to get so descriptive about some of the most insignificant things sometimes. It is wonderful to dwell on each convoluted thought of the characters, if the time can permit that only. There is so much shit happening in Westeros, we can do without every dream the characters are having. They do give some perspective the TV show fails to give. However, is it necessary is the question. I had to skim through some long narrations, or lists descriptions about insignificant people. I mean, is it really necessary to name every person in a council or a battle. So much names its really hard to give a shit about everyone. Another thing is after you have watched the tv show, no matter how much u read the descriptions about appearances and attire, you will only imagine in your minds eyes and ears, what you have seen in the tv show. You will definitely read the dialogs in the voices of the actors who play those characters. So details as such, can be skimmed through.

If you thought that the tv show is brutal, the book is like hellish torture. Obviously the show has toned down the darkness drastically. That is one the most intriguing aspects for me when reading the books. G.R.R Martins imagination is twisted as fuck. As a huge Stephen King fan, that is an admirable quality as I see.

There were many parts or chapters I liked better in the book. One special chapter is Daenerys's journey through the undying halls. The visions she witnesses in the rooms is extravagant and revolting in some cases. This was not done right in the show. Some very important information for the future of the story is revealed here. Another awesome part is the battle of Blackwater bay. It was really well written and the minute details well written. The advance of Tyrion Lannister, births new found admiration for the imp and his courage. 

One thought that came to my mind is how feminists will hate this book. In Westeros, the place for women is very low indeed.  Rape and adultery is commonplace, women are rarely in "administrative positions". But that's the kind of fantasy world it is. It's just a part of how fucked up everything is. I guess no one is that absurd to hate the book for that reason only. Also, valar Morghulis, This will have severe ramifications as to the fate of Westeros will indeed lie on the hands of women. However, if you must, Let all men die, except Tyrion Lannister :). 

It was not that great a book. But the writing is especially fantastic. No one could write like G.R.R Martin, as far as I've seen. Because of that only, it is a recommended book. Moving on to Storm of Swords. Which I expect will be awesome with all the weddings and stuff...

Thanks for Sharing

It’s rare that you watch a movie that makes you really wanna blog about it, and it’s almost never one of those blockbuster movies that everyone knows about. Thanks for sharing, in a gist, is about a 3 dimensional perspective on an apparent disease that some may use as an excuse: Sex addiction. Its funny coz its taboo. I had no idea about what the movie is about when I started watching it, because of its main focus, I got interested, and it seemed funny, as many will. It almost seems like a clever ruse for getting the masses to watch it, even though its not totally about it. You might have lost interest in the movie you had by this point. But believe me when I say that it not totally being  about sex addiction is a good thing. Yes it does speak about the adverse affects of it, and everything revolves around it. But during my watching I had so many perspectives about the movie, that I gotta share. So you’d thank me for sharing!.Sorry for the bad joke, but anyway, lets dig in.

The movie revolves around 3 sex addicts, or actually 4 (including Pink). One surgeon, one a veteran sober as they call it, and another businessman. One is trying desperately to get out of it, and failing horribly, one is out of it, and seeking a relationship which might ultimately break him or fix him for good. And the other one is a family man who has won over the addiction and trying to repair what he has broken, figuratively. A great cast, Mark Ruffalo, Tim Robinson, Gwyneth Paltrow, Pink and another rising star to personal favoritism: Josh Gad.  

As I said, it ventures in to many interesting persepectives about the addiction through these characters. I will not directly talk about the characters and examples per se, but I want to share my thoughts that I got. One of being which how it obviously affects family life. Like any addiction it could have adverse affects. But especially sex addiction will most definitely result in adultery. I mean it is understandable, why no one would ever wanna start a family with an sex addict. The thing is how do you know that you are a sex addict. The first thing of getting out of an addiction is admitting that you have a problem. In a way I guess it could be detectable. I mean the movie gives good examples. Lol. But it makes you think that here, in Sri Lanka, there's no such thing. Sex it self is so taboo here, forget about sex addiction. No one would even want to admit that there exists such a problem. With the religious background and everything, one would definitely come to the conclusion that its something that the ‘Americans’ came up with to explain there sexual desires or something. And discard the whole idea. But think, if it’s a real thing, how many families are suffering because of it. It also makes you think about one of the main things that is missing from Sri Lanka greatly, you know Anonymous circles, where people help each other to solve there problems. 

Another thing is how hard it is to achieve self control. You might be convincing others that you are handling it well, that you got it all under control, but it obviously is never good enough to completely get normal, or to fix yourself. You just gotta accept that it affects you more than anybody else, and hiding behind a mask is not gonna help. Otherwise it keeps getting worse and worse until it will be too late to fix it. 

Even after you accept that you need help, that the utmost dedication of self sacrifice and control is needed, it might be a very tough challenge to face it alone. A good friend in need is a gem in times like these. A friend you can share everything to, who you can reach out when shit hits the fan, and when you feel like there’s nothing else to turn in to. It will be so uplifting, and so affectine in changing your life, when you have such a great friend to turn to when you need. Coz he/she will help you without prejudice, without judgement and with just a good heart only. Gosh, it’s something very valuable isn’t it, and something which seems rare. They tell that you don’t have to believe in god or something to pray or seek redemption. It can be any higher power, which you can just reach to for guidance. A good friend can be that higher power. 

Another thing which with one dimension focuses on, is all the perfection and transcendence of true love. The relationship between Phoebe and Adam is made in to something which everyone who sees it envy it. It’s too perfect in that sense. But to see that two people connect and click so well as they do and just build up to something awesome, will be something to yearn for. But it faces a test of trust and honesty with addictions like sex addiction. It will leave you irreparable, and degenerate to an old self which disgusts you. That’s the thing with relationships, you never know at the end how fucked up a state you’ll end up in. But Not all hope is lost. 

Despite the bad ratings, I really like this movie. Because movies which makes me think that much are not that abundant. But it’s not a great movie. It’s amazing how much I was conscious about the time throughout. Maybe I was in somekind of withdrawal from an ‘addiction’ my self, when I was writing this. Anyway, the ratings It got is understandable. It tends to stray from the path too often, and seems to be running out of material towards the end. Anyway, even if the topic of sex addiction does not interest you, it still is a good movie. So recommended!

It’s amazing how watching a good movie can clear your mind out just right!